Dad

This is undoubtedly the most difficult post to write that I have ever shared on the blog, but since the purpose of our family blog is to keep a running history of memories and photos for the kids and myself to have in book form (eventually) of our family-I knew I wanted to include something about my Dad/the kids' Pop.  It's so hard to know what to say because there is SO much to say while simultaneously nothing seems great enough.  So, I'll begin with the facts.

On August 23rd, Dad went to the doctor with aspiration pneumonia and was then sent directly to the hospital as they found a tear in his gut and gastric fluid was spilling into his abdominal cavity.  This required emergency surgery and led to sepsis.  After surgery he was on a ventilator and sedated for over a week.  It was tough seeing him like this, but thankfully be was able to wake up and come off the ventilator.  Eventually he had several other set backs such as a couple more rounds of sepsis, internal bleeding, and more-but he kept trying!  After he had been at the first hospital a little over a month, they transferred him to a hospital with more capabilities and there he stayed until November 18th when he finally got to come home!!!!  Finally!  Just in time for Thanksgiving.  He got to celebrate Thanksgiving at his sisters house with us and the rest of his family, the following day he we celebrated my brother's birthday, and he started going downhill some, but he was home and I got to see him on my birthday (11/26).   On Monday, he seemed to be doing somewhat better, but then on Tuesday (11/28) morning he was much worse.  That morning  while Nora Kate and the boys were at school, Clayton and I went and visited with him, although he was too weak to open his eyes, he did manage to lift up his arms to give me a hug as I left at 10:40am to go get Nora Kate from school.  Barely over an hour after I left, I received the call that Dad had passed away.  I am so thankfully for Dad, his life, and his love.  He had a very, very rough 3 months, so I know he is in a much, much better place now.  In many ways I'm still at a loss for words to describe this, so I will just share one more thing...

Dad's funeral service was absolutely perfect!  Family members were given the opportunity to speak, and I wish we had recorded it because the things that were shared and stories that were told were wonderful!  

I was unsure if I would be able to be composed enough to speak, so I wrote out my speech.  Thankfully, when it was time for me to share, I was able to honor Dad by speaking about him, but I thought since I had written out what I said, I would share it here: 

Hello.  For those of you I don't know, I am Jessica, Ronnie and Shirley's daughter.  Since Dad passed away on Tuesday, I have thought many times about what I would say this evening and if I would even be able to get up here without just blubbering-BUT I knew I needed to for Dad.  Dad was one of the finest examples of a Christian man there is.  That is what I've chosen to focus on this evening-what a wonderful example Dad was.  

Growing up I didn't know how fortunate I was, but as an adult and parent myself I have come to realize what a wonderful Dad I have.  I began listing many qualities and traits of Dad-patient, kind, humble, hopeful...then I began to realize what a wonderful example my Dad is.  I could read 1 Corinthians 13 and instead of saying "Love is patient, Love is kind, Love does not envy, It does not boast, It is not proud..." and so on, I could plug Dad's name in and it would be the perfect description of his character and love.  

Dad was patient.

Dad was kind.

He did not envy.

He did not boast.

He was not proud.

He did not dishonor others.

He was not self-seeking.

He was not easily-angered, he kept no record of wrongs.

He did not delight in evil but rejoiced with the truth.  

He always protected, always trusted, always hoped, and always perseveres.

I've never had any questions about how our Heavenly Father could love and forgive me because my Earthly Father did it so well, being a wonderful example of a Father.

Dad was always a wonderful example.  He was Christ-like in word and deed.  He never complained.  When I was in middle school Dad had cancer and the prognosis was not good, but I would have had no idea just how sick he was because I never, never heard him complain.  Then in the last three months that he has been sick he has had so many things he could have complained about-but I never heard a single complaint.  In fact, when I would visit he would much rather hear about what John, the kids, and I had been doing rather than talk about himself.

Dad was also a wonderful example in how he was so willing to serve others.  I cannot count how many times I (and John) have called my Dad spur of the moment to get help with something-changing spark plugs, installing new lights, hanging shelves, setting up for every single one of the kids' birthday parties, and the list could go on and on-BUT Dad ALWAYS came.  He was never too busy or too tired (although there are many times I'm sure he actually was), but he always came immediately.  Dad was hospitalized on August 23rd, do you know what he did the previous day?  Picked my daughter up and drove her to preschool for me that morning.  He was always truly willing to serve others.  

It has been difficult to choose which precious memories to share with you all because there are SO many to choose from.  Dad always made time for me and because of that I have many, many wonderful memories.  It is a difficult task to try to try to capture Dad's character in one story or antedote, but I want to share one more specific story-because we all know Dad always loved to tell or hear a story.  When I was 16 and obviously knew everything obviously, I told my parents goodbye that I was driving myself to church and would see them there that Sunday morning.  Dad asked if I was sure I had enough gas in my car to get there (I guess he had checked and knew I must be getting low), but as I mentioned I was 16 and knew everything so I said no.  He asked if I was sure, and I said no that I would go to church, to a friends house, and then get gas.  Dad said ok.  Well about 3 minutes later I called my Dad about a quarter of the mile down the road asking for him to come rescue me.  You'll never guess what happened...I ran out of gas.  Dad came quickly and filled my gas tank, followed me to the gas station to refill my tank totally, then on to church.  Dad gave me such a hard time about this-all in fun though.  Even though I was embarrassed, we all laughed about it in the end.  Dad loved to tell this story and laugh with me about running out of gas just down the road.  But Dad knew I was being stubborn and going to have to learn this lesson on my own-and I sure did.  And I can proudly say, I've never run out of gas again since then.  Oh how he loved to laugh about this story.  Now thinking of this story makes me smile.  

I am thankful for the wonderful relationship I had with Dad.  I am thankful for the relationship my husband had with my Dad.  And I am thankful for the special relationship that Dad had with each of my four children.  My children, Ronnie's grandchildren all love their Pop so much.  

Dad, I love you and miss you deeply.  Your example of love, patience, understanding, and sense of humor will live on inside us forever.  And I must add that I have no doubts that he is in Heaven and we will meet again.  

And because I don't really know how to wrap up such a blog post as this, here are a few pictures of Dad over the past few years.